So…. this is gonna be a written verbal vomit post, bare with me folks. HERE IS!
We are MOVING! FINALLY. TO A REAL HOUSE. WITH A YARD. TOMORROW! Our new home is beautiful and perfect for us and picked out my our loving Heavenly Father for us.
Now, that being said… the circumstances of our move were not our idea, nor were they voluntary or provoked by us is any way that was in our control. We got… drumroll please… a “No Cause Termination of Tenancy” on February 25th. And given until April 30th to move. Its not like a real for cause eviction, that goes on your record negatively and prevents you from finding a home bc you like didn’t pay your rent or stuff like that. Nope. The landlord tenant law in our great state of Oregon says that a property owner can AT ANY TIME, whenever they feel like it and for no good reason at all (except theres almost always an underlying reason for the owner, wether its a fair or legal one or not) take back their property, no questions asked. This law is solely to protect the landlord and gets them around pesky laws for them like oh… THE FAIR HOUSING ACT and Americans With Disabilities Act… bc our no cause was given to us bc we have as you know ow of you read this blog… 3 kids, and 2 have some pretty severe developmental and behavioral and mental health disabilities and special needs. One even collects SSI bc of this. So no, im not trying to pull a get out of jail free card when I try to appologozed nicely to my neighbor abd also explain to them why no, I can’t just spank it out of him or ground him etc. To get him to stop banging on the floor or slamming the door repeatedly or yelling “FUCK”. Sometimes its unprovoked or there’s no blatant reason (to US, theres always a perfectly logical reason to BB why he does what he does) but we don’t always know and can’t always help him process through it or prevent the behavior. Sometiems we can and we and he both are getting better at the prevention part. But… he cant help it Sometiems and we cant either. And sometimes he cna help it and makes bad choices anywyas. Thats part of being g a ten year old BOY! A child! But I digress… these neighbors are early to mid 20 somethings with an old Golden Retrievers dig and zero kids and they also give zero fucking about their neighbors or anyone else’s lives but theirs. And you know you what? I’m finally ok with that. Bc ive been that kid, I still am sometimes. I have to work pretty hard on my bad days or during certain moods to be a decent human. God is stretching and growing me in a lot of uncomfortable and amazing ways right now and it SUCKS and is great all at once, simultaneously. So… this morning… lol oh yeah I finally snapped, an dmy snapped I mean was actually super polite but totally informed my neighbor exactly what’s ging on and why and how he has directly effected my life by his choices. Not that he cared or that it mattered but i had a classic MamaC verbal diareah of the mouth moment. Here’s what happened:
I’m in one of those moods … you know the kind, where I’m exhausted and my non existent filter is even more broken and non existent than usual. I seriously just, like minutes before sitting down and blogging and this, with a smile on my face, told my neighbor whose wife is the major reason for all the noise complaints “you’ll be living in peace and quiet after this weekend, were moving” he awkwardly smiled back “oh?” Me:” yeah, bc of all the noise complaints about my special needs child, that I cant control when hes in crisis… we got a no cause, which, actually worked out for us bc we found an amazing house with no wall sharing neighbors so it reduces a lot of my own anxiety!” Another big smile from me and a “have. a great morning!” He just kinda stood there looking uncomfortable and stunned for a second, an awkward smile on his dumbfounded fave. He finally stumbled out a “uh thats great, have. agood morning” and turned to continue to his car. I’d bumped into him on my way back from getting kids to their busses. I’ll probably felt bad later for saying something, but right now? You know what? I have ZERO fucks left to give this morning. I’ve made peace with him and his wife’s unwillingness to be understanding, their coldness and outright awful neighborly ness. I’ve been sad, mad, and now I’m just done. I’ve grieved it and made a huge deal of it in my head and out loud to some friends and I admit, this post and a few FB posts
I wish them the best. I know its not easy sharing a wall with us. I strive and pride myself in being a good neighbor and friend to those we live near and no im not perfect, and yes my kids are… KIDS theyre all a bit loud and unruly at times, but , we do our best to correct 99% of the obnoxious ness that we DO have control over and the rest we profusely appilogize for and try our best to prevent. Bc believe it or not, “look” like it or not our child is disabled by his diagnoses, he does have some stuff that even he has a hard time controlling even in good moments. And you know what else? THAT’S OK. He is who he is. And I love him, even on the hard days when we get nice complaints and no causes and im wearing not my own spit in my hair and my child has kicked my shin for the 5th time, im hungry, tired and done and its only 4pm. Even on those days I love this kid more than he will even imagine and more than I can even fathom myself. And its then that I look at me in my own dirty, hot mess and bad attitude and I look at my Father God and I cry, not put of self pity, but GREATFULNESS. Because he love sme that way too! He picks us up and he holds me abd he provided this home for us in a market abd situation I really feared we would be homeless. Litterally several families a day are experiencing homelessness bc of our current housing g crises and the outrageous “fair market” housing rates in our area. Portland Metro area has the worst rental market in our country right now. A 3 bedroom APARTMENT even, not just homes but 3 bedroom apartments are renting for an average rate of $1771 A MONTH. Thats more than a lot of people’s mortgages.
Anyways I could write an entire other post about all that lol and I will, but not now. Anywho… thats the update/verbal vomit rant. Happy Thursday. Love you all! God is SO SO GOOD you guys!
So tired lol need coffee … and I hate coffee