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Does Your Kid Hit? Mine Does…

08 Feb

I just got BB on tue bus. It was one of those ” just get him on the damn bus” days. Yes I swore pardon me. Right now I need to ven and maybe some people wont likebit and sya I shouldnt talk baout my kid in a bkog or.on fb, well thats their opinion. BB WOKE UP IN A FOUL MOOD. It didn’t matter what I did or said he screamed at me and threw things and was nasty and made nasty faces. He mentioned, while we were waiting for the bus, that he had to have recess under the covered area bc it was raining. he also said”but I go on the playground anyway” to which I replied that I would ratuer ue not play in the rain. He then preceded to flip out hitting me repeatedly with his fists and screaming jibberish at me. He does this frequently when he gets really upset, hit me. it doesnt matter how many conversations we have had about “it is not ok to hit Mommy or anyone else” he doesnt care. When BB is mad he does what BB wNts. He thought I was telling him that he couldnt play with his friends it turns out. which is most certainly NOT what I said. Apparently another boy in his class goes out in the rain and BB likes to follow him. I didnt know that , but id still not like him to play in the wet oregon rain. Misscommunication is no excuse for hitting. What are we going to do when hes fifteen amd still continuing this behavior? I can barely control
his 52 pound body now when needed. Something needs to change. Im
trying my best to je more patient be the perfect akways calm sweet
talking mother. but sometimes I just cant do it I snap just like a lot of people do and I raise my voice. God give me more grace and help me
and help BB because Im having one of those days where I feel lost and
helpless. I dont know what to do for him and I feel like Im sucking at this
mom of a special needs kid deal. And maybe Im crazy for wanting to go
into special ed, maybe it hits too close to home and Ill burn out fast. I know God gave me this passion for a reason, but mornings like today make me question it. I just want to be able to make things work better for BB, FIRST AND FORSMOST. i guess today I just need an extra portion of mercy and grace to be his Mommy and stay calm. Do any of you out there have this problem with hitting? If so how do you handle it with your non typical child? Open to suggestions.
mamac

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2 Comments

Posted by on February 8, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

2 responses to “Does Your Kid Hit? Mine Does…

  1. Sila

    February 8, 2012 at 11:42 am

    getting angry or upset for not being able to control something is perfectly acceptable. I think his anger is probably stemming from not being able to communicate well. Receptive and expressive. He misunderstood you and got upset, but he probably didn’t know how to express his anger in an appropriate way, so he lashed out.

    Find the root problem and then work on it. Instead of saying ‘You don’t hit mommy when you’re upset’, since that leaves it open ended for him to wonder ‘Well then what do I do when I’m upset?”, tell him ‘It’s not ok to hit people when you’re upset. When you are upset, you can choose to ___” and give him options that are safe and still help express anger.
    Let him have a pillow he can hit, or his bed mattress, if he feels the need to punch or hit something to release anger. Maybe get a small punching bag so he knows if he’s upset (at home) he can go there to calm down.

    If he’s screaming, tell him in a firm voice ‘You cannot scream into the air, but if you need to scream then do it into your (jacket/pillow/blanket etc)’, that way it muffles the noise but he still gets the release from screaming.

    Try to help him communicate when he’s calmed down. Ask him why he got upset, and prompt him with possible answers. ‘Did you understand that I said I don’t want you to play in the rain? Or did you think I said that I didn’t want you to play with your friends?’ If he questions you about why he can’t play in the rain, just remind him of a time when he was really sick and unhappy, and you can tell him that playing in the rain when it’s cold will get him sick just like that time.

    Hope it helps. -hug-

     

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