Tomorrow is our church’s family retreat. Most of us are all headed up to Camp “T” for a weekend of worship, building relationships and other fun. I was really looking fwd to it and still kind of am, but it hit me a few days ago I am the only single mom in our church. I’ve always known this but its not something I think about a ton. I am the only one going to be there without family members to help with kids or hang out with. Everyone else has a significant other going with them and a few even have other family going as well. I know this may sound whiny or even a bit jealous its not meant to. But I really feel out of sync with everyone else sometimes, the odd one out. Many of the people at church have been raised together and gone to church together much of their lives. I have gone to high school with a couple of them but was never really friends with them while in school. The kids and I have gone to this church for a little over three years now(DH came off and on during that period of time while we were together). I often feel not as much a part of the group or not as important or as liked as others. Its probably not true but it’s something I fight a lot. And now especially that DH is gone from church life i feel more “odd man out”. It is not always easy wrangling three kids in service by myself it is always a hit or a miss if we make it through a Sunday without me having to take a child (usually BB) out into the hall for discipline. Sometimes people jump in and take time out of their Sunday service and time with family to help, which is greatly appreciated. Although I always feel bad that they took time out of their time in service with their own family to help deal with an unruly defiant out of sync child. I feel like I should be able to do it alone and that needing help makes me look like a lesser parent than the other mothers. I really hope that this weekend turns out to be fun and not a disaster. Im praying and hoping that BB’s excitement will over rule his awareness of the transition from our normal routine to a different schedule for the weekend. I’m a little worried we might not even make it up there, a friend from church said she would help drive us up but that if the kids were too loud or threw too many fits that shed have to turn around and take us home. I kind of wonder if its even worth going, a trip to family camp should be fun not stress inducing. The kids seem like they are looking forward to going so I hope the excitement is enough to provoke some extra good behavior for the trip there and home too.
Hope everyone has a good weekend!