HOPE. Such a four letter word. My life, OUR life has been so… well fuel up the past almost three years. Sometimes I wonder where God is in all of this. Right now we are in the deepest pit of cap we have ever been in and I’m not sure even what I want out of the situation, or even what a “best for everyone” outcome looks like at this point. BB just returned home two ish weeks ago from his first in patient treatment stay at a local pediatric sub acute facility. One of the only ones in Oregon. It’s been hard even after the progress he made there it feels like he took a 100 steps backward after leaving there and coming home. DH and I are separated again by he also had a mental health crisis, we are slowly rebuilding but it’s going to be a long slow ass road. The song “Hope Now” by Addison Road came in today as I was sitting outside in my pj’s in the rain be BB had locked me out and I was listening to pandora while waiting him out. Those words struck to my core. There is HOPE NOW.
“Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free
When my life is like a storm
Rising waters all I want is the shore
You say I’ll be ok and
Make it through the rain
You are my shelter from the storm”
Everything rides on hope, now.
So I guess my point is, there is Hope, right now wherever you are no matter what. So don’t give up.